ic inbox;

[excubia]

inbox voice • text • video • action "hey, madsen here. leave a message, i'll get back to you as soon as i can."

Comments

text;

[getbit]

so, you know how i said I was going to tell haruto about the kids?

[excubia]

yeah? how'd it go?

[getbit]

he wants a sports team comprised entirely of our children
which is to say he's ecstatic and talked about having more before we've even actually had the three

[excubia]

I feel this is the exact opposite of how my situation went.

also isn't that moving a tiiiiiiiny bit too fast?

[getbit]

i was prepared for anger
suspicion
questioning and doubt
shock
a need for space or some time to process at least...

i wasn't expecting this at all!! he's so, so excited to be a father, madsen.
"I'M A FATHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD"

[excubia]

I mean good on him for taking it so well, but that's almost too well.

still, main question is how do you feel about his reaction?

[getbit]

...i don't really know
i mean
i'm relieved that he's not upset
and glad he's not freaked out and pulling away or something!!

but at the same time
it's just such a big thing!!
and i'm still getting used to him being back and with me

i think i'm just expecting something to go horribly wrong :<<<

[excubia]

it's not necessarily a bad thing to be wary about it, you already heard all about my suspicions about everything.

and unfortunately the usual advice of "take it one day at a time" may not actually be the best decision.

[getbit]

i think i'd be okay planning ahead for some stuff, and playing it by ear for other things

we're still new
i don't want to miss out on all of the dating things and...and all of the things that might lead to kids

[Like a proposal. A wedding. A married life.]

[excubia]

... yeah, same. it just feels weird that it's already laid out for us in a sense.

[getbit]

in a way at least...at least we do know that things are laid out in a good direction?

i mean
it's always been my dream to find someone to love and have a family with
someone good and handsome and worthy
and now i know that i have and we'll have that

it's just a lot to come down all at once i guess
maybe in time i'll get used to it?

i wonder how many of our kids know each other!!

[excubia]

I guess?

it's just more...
yeah
it's a lot to take in at once.

though that's a good question, I'd have to ask them later once we get to know each other a bit better.

[getbit]

that's a good idea. i'll see what i can find out next time i talk to mine...

i feel kind of bad because of how apprehensive i feel about all of this
i've had feelings for haruto for such a long time and i wouldn't give up this second chance with him for anything or anyone...

i think i'm just repeating myself at this point
i just don't want to miss out on everything that comes before kids, you know?

[excubia]

personally I think being a bit wary of the situation's better than just jumping into it recklessly.

but again
that's me

and a lot of ingrained habits formed over a long time.

but I get it too! I want to make sure Tae and I feel ... right, I suppose?

[getbit]

i understand that
it's a big thing and you want to be sure even though everything seems...plotted out

aside from all of this
all of the kids and the future timelines

do you think he's the one?

[excubia]

I'm ... not really sure, it's too early to really say with any certainty.

we only just admitted our feelings for each other a couple months ago, if that.

[getbit]

oh i see
well
for what it's worth i hope things go well with you two
i really do

it's been nice to have someone to talk to that's in a similar situation to me

very similar actually

...with the exception of haruto's reaction
i don't know how to predict his reactions to anything anymore ~_~;;;;;

[excubia]

thanks, Sunhi. I'm glad I've got someone else I can confide in about all this too. p. sure the boys are sick of hearing me fret about all this at this point.

I mean, if you're into the unpredictability it could be a good thing?

[getbit]

i understand
it's better to have someone to talk to that understands this

i don't think i'd call it a good thing but at least it will keep me on my toes!

[excubia]

keeping you on your toes might be putting it lightly if that original reaction to the kids is any indication. I wish you luck on that one.

[getbit]

thanks madsen, good luck to you too!!!

I should go but i'll talk to you more about all of this later okay???

[excubia]

yeah! I'll probably talk to you soon.

[getbit]

okay
let me know if anything changes okay
or something comes up
i am here for you
byeeeeeeeeee